[first lines]

Asif:
Congratulations, Nabi. We are at the doorstep of our martyrdom.
Nabi:
Praise Allah.
Asif:
Praise him! Soon, we will be greeted by Allah, the one true god... and by the cheers of our fore fathers... and by ninety-nine perfect virgins who will worship us... for ALL eternity!
Nabi:
[pause]
I thought it was one hundred.
Asif:
What's that?
Nabi:
One hundred virgins. They promised me one hundred.
Asif:
Ninety-nine, one hundred. What's the difference?
Nabi:
If they're telling you one thing and they're telling me another, maybe they don't know for sure.
Asif:
Maybe... maybe the exact number of virgins is not precise.
Nabi:
I mean, if it's in the nineties, I can live with that.
Asif:
Or seventy-five.
Nabi:
And hey, I'm not greedy, but what if it's ten?
Asif:
[pause]
Well...
Nabi:
What if it's ten, but we had to split them between us?
Asif:
[smiles]
Then you'd have five more virgins than you have right now, right?
Nabi:
[serious]
We're talking about ETERNITY here! How long will five virgins last you? Maybe a month? But they're not going to be virgins for long, right?
Asif:
[pause]
Look, would it make it feel better if we called the big guy?
Nabi:
Yes.
Asif:
Take this, then.
[Nabi grabs hold of the steering wheel as Asif calls Osama]

Asif:
It's ringing... Osama, yes, it's Asif... No, we're on it... eh, it's fine, but security, it takes forever, you know.
[chuckles]

Asif:
What are you going to do? Anyway, look, Nabi has a question. Will you talk to him?
Nabi:
[Quietly]
No! You talk to him!
[sighs and grabs the phone]

Nabi:
Hello! Yes... uh, it's about the virgins... really? It was one hundred when I signed up!
[groans, then to Asif]

Nabi:
He says not that many anymore! Too many martyrs and not enough virgins to go around!
Asif:
You've got to be kidding! Does he know where we are here? Give me the phone!
[Nabi hands over phone]

Asif:
Osama, Asif. Right now, can you tell me the number, absolutely, you can guarantee, Nabi and myself, as far as virgins are concerned?
[pause; gets a shocked look]

Asif:
No, that's fine.
[hangs up; to Nabi]

Asif:
We can't get anymore than twenty!
[Both are disappointed; long pause as the passengers are briefly heard banging on the cockpit door]

Asif:
Screw this, right?
Nabi:
I'm glad you said it first!
Asif:
Okay, get on the intercom and tell them, "Passengers, we are changing course for the Bahamas!"
Nabi:
[Screaming with joy]
BAHAMAS!
[Suddenly, the passengers break in and overwhelm Asif and Nabi]

Nabi:
[We then see a window washer on the World Trade Center as the plane comes crashing into the building and the window washer]

[Title Card; POSTAL]

Film

Postal (2007)

Persone

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SerieTv

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