Pontius Pilate:
So, yaw fatha was a Woman? Who was he?
Brian:
He was a Centurion, in the Jerusalem Garrisons.
Pontius Pilate:
Weally? What was his name?
Brian:
'Naughtius Maximus'.
[the Centurion laughs]
Pontius Pilate:
Centuwion, do we have anyone of that name in the gawwison?
Centurion:
Well, no, sir.
Pontius Pilate:
Well, you sound vewy sure. Have you checked?
Centurion:
Well, no, sir. Umm, I think it's a joke, sir... like, uh, 'Sillius Soddus' or... 'Biggus Dickus', sir.
Pontius Pilate:
[guard chuckles]
What's so funny about "Biggus Dickus? "
Centurion:
Well, it's a joke name, sir.
Pontius Pilate:
I have a vewy gweat fwiend in Wome called 'Biggus Dickus'.
[guard chuckles]
Pontius Pilate:
Silence! What is all this insolence? You will find yourself in gladiator school vewy quickly with wotten behaviour like that.
Brian:
Can I go now, sir?
[slap]
Brian:
Aaah! Eh.
Pontius Pilate:
Wait till Biggus Dickus hears of this!
[guard chuckles]
Pontius Pilate:
Wight! Take him away!
Centurion:
Oh, sir, he - he only...
Pontius Pilate:
No, no. I want him fighting wabid, wild animals within a week.
Centurion:
Yes, sir. Come on, you.
[takes the guard away as continues laughing histerically]
Pontius Pilate:
I will not have my fwiends widiculed by the common soldiewy. - - Anybody else feel like a little... giggle... when I mention my fwiend... Biggus...
[another guard chuckles]
Pontius Pilate:
... Dickus?
[more chuckling]
Pontius Pilate:
What about you? Do you find it... wisible... when I say the name... 'Biggus'...
[chuckle]
Pontius Pilate:
... Dickus?
[both guards chuckle]
Pontius Pilate:
He has a wife, you know. You know what she's called? She's called... 'Incontinentia'... Incontinentia Buttocks
Pontius Pilate:
[Guards are laughing]
Stop! What is all this?
Pontius Pilate:
[laughing continues]
I've had enough of this wowdy webel sniggewing behaviour. Silence! Call yourselves Pwaetowian guards? You're not - Seize him! Seize him! Blow your noses and seize him!
Riportata da il
05/03/2025 alle ore 07:41