Priest:
Have you been able to find time for the survey in regard to the declining attendance in England's churches?
Michael Rimmer:
Yes, we have.
Priest:
We've tried everything, you know... cutthroat bingo, hallucinogens in the wafers, neon lights for the graveyards, chapels on wheels, fifty-fifty drawings after communion...
Michael Rimmer:
Really?
Priest:
[grabbing hold of his vestments]
And these clothes are a bit out-of-date for the 1960s.
Michael Rimmer:
Yes, well, we've done a great deal of research on the results of our religious polls and I believe we have discovered the true root of the problem.
Priest:
What would that be?
Michael Rimmer:
God.
Priest:
I had a nasty suspicion it was that.
Michael Rimmer:
It's just that people have a hard time believing in Him. So, get rid of the God and you'll do just fine.
Priest:
Interesting. Sort of an "Our Father who *might be* in heaven"...
Michael Rimmer:
Yes, very good.

Film

The Rise and Rise of Michael Rimmer (1970)

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