Archer:
I am older than most of the trainees here.
Matron:
[Updating the documents of a trainee]
Yes.
Archer:
The books available in the library, they're either trash westerns or hack adventure stories. Now, I can't read that muck. See. I don't know whether I'm supposed to be Roy Rogers or Nanook of the North. My needs are... different.
Matron:
The library caters for all trainees here, not single individuals.
Archer:
Besides censoring our mail, you also veto what books are allowed to be sent in to us?
Matron:
I do.
Archer:
Then why haven't I been allowed the two Dostoyevsky novels you received for me?
Matron:
They're safely locked away. You'll have them when you're released.
Archer:
I shan't need them then.
Matron:
[Matron reminds Archer to address her by her title]
Matron.
Archer:
Have you read them? They are classics.
Matron:
Archer, read them or not. Crime and Punishment and The Idiot are hardly suitable reading matter for a young boy in this establishment.
Archer:
[In a mocking tone]
Boy?
Matron:
Trainee.
[Matron stands up to place the document she was working on to a filing cabinet]

Matron:
You're feet are disgusting Archer. You're impudent and foolish. I know of vegetarians who don't eat meat, but that doesn't stop them from wearing shoes.
Archer:
Can't be very sincere people then, can they, Matron?
[Matron returns to her desk]

Matron:
Is that all?
Archer:
Yeah. Well, I think it's all going to be resolved soon anyway. The feet, I mean. And the diet. Yeah, I'm thinking of being a Sikh.
Matron:
The governor might have something to say about that.
Archer:
Matron, do you know what I used to do with my girlfriend?
Matron:
Are you being insolent, Archer?
Archer:
Hold hands. We used to hold hands.
Matron:
Is that all you wish to discuss, Archer? I have work to do.
Archer:
[Heading his way to the door]
Yes, I think so. Yes. I keep getting through the days somehow. You know, Matron, when I was last in the block, seven days solitary down there... madam. After much insistence, they gave me, besides the belting, my right to a book. It was the bible.
Matron:
Good, you'll come to no harm with that.
Archer:
It was printed in Yugoslavian and there didn't happen to be an interpreter in the cell.
Matron:
Well, that goes to show, Archer, that Christianity is universal.
Archer:
Make the report, Matron.

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Scum (1979)

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