[the Devil shows up on Elliot's computer screen]

Elliot Richards:
What are you doing here?
The Devil:
Just think of me as a computer virus.
Elliot Richards:
I think of you as a PLAGUE! Now will you get off my screen! I have work to do!
The Devil:
Whoa, whoa, what's this "get thee behind me" thing?
[frowns]

The Devil:
We still have business here, Mr. Richards.
Elliot Richards:
No, not now. I told you, I've got work to do. And besides, I've only got two wishes left.
The Devil:
Correction: you have one wish left.
Elliot Richards:
[chuckles in disbelief]
Nice try. I've got two more coming.
The Devil:
Nuh-uh. Count 'em, baby. You were President of the United States.
Elliot Richards:
[rolling his eyes, holding up one finger]
Yeah, okay, one.
The Devil:
You were a handsome, articulate, celebrated author and raconteur.
Elliot Richards:
[now holding up two fingers]
Yeah, and you turned me into a flaming homosexual.
The Devil:
Pro basketball player.
Elliot Richards:
[holds up three fingers]
Three.
The Devil:
The caring, artistic guy was four.
Elliot Richards:
[holding up four fingers]
And the Columbian drug lord was five! That means I have two more coming.
The Devil:
You forgot the Big Mac and Coke.
Elliot Richards:
[again chuckling in disbelief]
What? That wasn't a wish.
The Devil:
Well, what would you call it? You said, "I wish," and I got it for you. Sounds like a wish to me.
Elliot Richards:
[now peeved]
No! No, no, no, no. That's not fair.
The Devil:
[angry]
Fair? Who do you think you're talking to? I don't recall anybody accusing me of being fair before. I think I'm insulted!
Elliot Richards:
What? No. This isn't right! You can't do this!
The Devil:
What are you gonna do? Sue me?
Elliot Richards:
No, that's it! I've had it with you! The whole deal is off. Off!

Film

Indiavolato (2000)

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