Mrs. Shlumsky:
What the H.E. double toothpicks are you talking about?
Tesia Papadapacropolis:
Alright Mrs Shtumpsky, the gig is up. We know about the extra bodies.
Mrs. Shlumsky:
Huh?
Albert:
Look, don't toy with her.
Tesia Papadapacropolis:
That's right. I've covered for you and Granddad long enough. Spill it, you old fool!
Mrs. Shlumsky:
What's your problem?
Desmond:
Officers, if I may be of assistance. Apparently this mortuary has been disposing of more dearly departed than it can account for.
Don:
I'm no party to this, I swear.
Albert:
Wait a minute, you knew about all of this?
Desmond:
Of course.
Albert:
Well then what's with "Give me the March, where's the April"?
Desmond:
MEANii provides proper procedures in perpetuity.
Mrs. Shlumsky:
Mmm, alliteration.
Tesia Papadapacropolis:
Don't try and backtrack now, Mrs Shtumpsky. You're caught.
Mrs. Shlumsky:
You're all going mental.
Desmond:
I have all the evidence required for a full-scale investigation. More than two-thirds of your clients were never declared deceased persons. Most had only one name. For example, July nineteen, Montgomery, male. No death certificate was ever issued.
Tesia Papadapacropolis:
So what do you say to that, huh?
Hope:
Wait a minute. What are you people talking about? Montgomery was a Persian.
Don:
Murderers! Racists!
Crosby:
No, not at all. We don't care about race, creed or pedigree.
Hope:
That's right. We bury animals from all walks of life.
Desmond:
Animals? Well, of course animals don't come under MEANii's jurisdiction. Wait a minute. This is no pet cemetery. All these burials were in areas set aside for people.
Crosby:
Where do you think they're coming from? Don't you remember what Shirley Mack said? We are all equal souls whatever incarnation.
Albert:
Wait a minute. You guys hid those bills?
Hope:
We figured if they didn't exist, then the deaths wouldn't either.
Mrs. Shlumsky:
Existential thinking.
Desmond:
I am at a loss. Animals are a whole different ball of fur. I declare the Papadapacropolis audit officially over.
Rossoti:
Anyway, we got our man.
[looks around for Coats, who has quietly slipped away]

Rossoti:
Phelps? Phelps! Phelps!
Don:
[Tesia and Albert embrace]
Now stop that.
Tesia Papadapacropolis:
Can't wait to tell Granddad. He's gonna die when he hears about this!
Albert:
I think he already has.
Tesia Papadapacropolis:
What?

Film

Diggin' Up Business (1990)

Persone

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SerieTv

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