Buck:
Well, well, well, they certainly are scraping the bottom of the barrel for cheerleaders these days.
Tia:
What are you doing here?
Buck:
We were just driving by to get some ice cream. Thought you might like to join us.
Tia:
I said I would be home at 10. It's not even 9!
Buck:
Who said anything about that? I thought you might like to join us for some ice cream. Maybe your Bug here can join us. We can talk about burying the hatchet. You know what a hatchet is, don't you, Bug?
Bug:
It's an ax?
Buck:
Sort of, yeah, yeah. I got one in my car if you'd like to see it.
Bug:
[getting scared]
I'll pass.
Buck:
Fair enough. I like to carry it, you never know when you're going to need it. A situation may come up say for example, someone has been drinking, and about to drive a loved one home... then I'd like to know I have it. Not to kill, no. Just to maim. Take a little off the shoulder. Swish! The elbow. Slash! Shave a little meat off the old kneecap. Fowap! Ooooo! You got both kneecaps? I like to keep mine razor sharp. Sharp enough you can shave with it. Why I've been known to circumcise a gnat. You're not a gnat are you, Bug? Wait a minute, bug, gnat. Is there a little similarity? Whoa, I think there is! Ha ha ha. You understand what I'm talking about? I don't think you do. I'll be right back. Heh heh heh heh.
[walks away]

Tia:
I'm sorry.
Bug:
Look, I think you'd better split. I don't exactly want him to go berserk with an ax on me.
Tia:
He's all talk.
[Buck pulls out a small hatchet from his car]

Buck:
Here it is! Come over, come on, I want to show it to you. Maybe later. Okay.

Film

Io e zio Buck (1989)

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